It's kinda funny, the moment you realize that all of the time and effort that you put into a friendship was all a waste of time.
It's the second that it hits you, it's almost like your whole life rushes before your eyes. But it's the whole duration of the friendship that flashes before you instead. The moments that you spent listening to their problems, helping them out all hours of the night. Driving them wherever they needed, helping them out with huge things in their life when they get hurt, or are desperate for your help. It's the second that you realize that you went above and beyond to do things for them because to you, they were one of your best friends, you cared about them beyond belief, but when it comes down to it they never did anything for you. Ever.
Sure the initial realization sucks more than anything. The gut wrenching feeling that you spent your time and heart on someone who probably never cared about you, nor ever will. That split second makes you feel like you got hit in the stomach with a baseball bat. You thought that you meant a lot to this person, but you just created it all in your head because you cared so much for them it had to have been reciprocated in some form. But after you get over the first reaction, the rest are a walk in the park, a joke even. And it actually makes you laugh at your stupidity, how could you be so dumb? How could you actually let them do all of this to you without you even realizing any of this until now?
The next swing brings the memories, and you realizing how one sided they were. How when they had something to talk about, only they talked. You could never speak a word, you could only listen and then offer them advice after they used you as a napkin to wipe their emotional slate clean because they didn't want to burden their real friends with all of this junk. And you let them, because you cared SO much that you were blinded from the fact that they were desecrating you as their emotional garbage can.
And you know what actually makes you comprehend all of this? The a moment they actually messed up and wronged you somehow, but guess what you did-- you still were trying to help them out and give them a little advice. THAT'S the instant that you're shocked out of your contributing coma. When you're struck with stupidity and you realize that all of the people that they claim to "hate" are the ACTUAL people that they claim to be their best friends. Not you, to them you are some sorry worthless little specimen that is there for them to abuse your kind heart and change you slowly into their tiny minion that wallows in their shallow ways, creating this imaginary friendship that makes you feel cared about when in all actuality they don't care if anyone loves you or wants you to be happy. You're just their chew toy.
And you know what you should instantaneously when you realize this? Drop them like a hot freaking potato because they don't, nor ever deserved your kick-butt personality and beautiful face in their life. Because they suck, a lot. And they shouldn't have any friendships if they're going to treat someone as amazing as you like a piece of dirt.
So get out of there, and find someone who will be as amazing of a friend as you are.
xx Mishea
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