Taking Time

Sometimes you need to take your own time, and find something that helps you get through the hard times. For some people, its taking walks, others it's reading, or writing. I like to figure out the little things about people and discover what makes them feel at ease. Everyone has one thing that basically clears their mind of everything. Even if you don't know it, you have one. You just haven't discovered it yet. 

For me, it took me a really long time, still taking a long time. I come to new discoveries and realize that they don't work for me. Then it just ends up making me feel alone. Because I thought I found something that made me feel like I could get through it, it changes and I can't seem to find anything. I thought reading, listening to loud music, or writing could help me. Maybe that's one of the reasons that I started this blog. And it helped me for a little while, but then I lose time for it, or the desire for it. For a long time it was theatre, and sometimes it still is that escape for me. But as of late I have had a hard time finding any joy in the things that I once loved, like because I was so distanced from them I forgot how to enjoy them. And it's brought me to this weird path that I just try any little thing to consume my time to distract me and get my way through it.

Somehow this post turned into something of a sob story for myself, and I feel like too often I come here to write this huge post, but it's just me complaining, so I don't post half of the things that are saved into my drafts. Because for some reason I feel like people will judge me for what's actually on my mind. So I hide virtually everything in my drafts and come back to it and read it over and over, but never share any of it. And it makes me feel like I am not doing a good job at keeping everyone posted here, especially the ones that enjoy reading what I write (the reason for that is still unknown to me.) But hey, hopefully soon I will get back into the swing of things here.

Until you read again.

xx Mishea